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Sunday, August 22, 2004 ( 9:11 PM ) Dear World, Well to make a long story short, Lili left at the end of the summer for NYC, and I left to return back to Berkeley and my dad. We didn't "break up" before we parted because really I'm not sure that we were ever officially "going out" so it was just this weird thing, where she got really busy getting ready and I couldn't tell what was "busy" and what was "you're creeping me out, Talula, give me some space" so i busied myself with dealing w/my mom's lawyer and all her stuff, and by the end of the summer the house was cleared out and on the market. I even got the lawn mowed. She had just refinanced and still owed on it so I'm not inheriting anything but who cares- my only beef is that note about the money I owed her- the lawyer said I owed it to the estate so long as my mom had outstanding debts, so I still had to come up with the money- thank you Dad!!! Dad to the rescue. Well, I incurred that debt in the first place going to visit him in Ohio when he was living there and destroying himself with junk food et cetera, and that got the ball rolling in terms of him deciding to come out to Berkeley and although he did me a great favor by giving me then a free place to live, he also became a much happier person himself and he was kind of happy that I even wanted to live with him plus he got to take advantage of me having cool ex-boyfriend(s) whom he could pal around with. He was nice, he took care of my rats while I was gone too. I know, I haven't talked about them in a while and you probably thought I let them die like Henry and I was ashamed to talk about it. No such thing. Willow and Tara are still happy healthy rats. Dad moved them out of my room and into the living room so they would have more company when I was away and he was really cool about letting them out to play whenever he was home. So when I got back from Madison they were all grown up and fat and healthy. Now they are getting old already... I know sometimes rats only live to be about 2 years old- they all get cancers and bronchitis and stuff. I seriously don't want to deal with more death. I shouldn't even be thinking about it so ok I am going to stop thinking about that now. Part of me wonders if they lost some zest for life when Buffy was not on TV anymore. (I know I sure did.) Except you know who never stops thinking about death? That is my dad who for some untold reason has become obsessed with all these death-oriented shows on TV, such as 6 Feet Under, The Dead Zone, Dead Like Me, etc. and I'll admit I've seen a couple-or-few episodes of each and they're fun but it's the recurring theme that creeps me out. I don't know whether to be more worried about my dad or about pop culture. Either way, whoever has this problem is probably trying to make peace with the thought of death because the world is probably going to blow up really soon anyway and wouldn't it be nicer to really think we're all going to float around in an afterlife? Or even that we'll be embalmed by some cool funky HBO family? Unless you think about that episode where David got carjacked by the psycho crackhead kid and was forced to throw the corpse he was transporting into the street and drive away. I would have hated to be that corpse or that corpse's family. When I think about that stuff I am really glad I didn't have to deal with my mom's corpse. I would have freaked- she was bad enough to look at when she was alive. I'm sorry if that sounds mean but she was a pretty sour-faced woman and I'm not going to lie about that just to honor her memory or whatever. That's probably how everything gets started with people thinking they can re-write history and pretend that Columbus was a really sweet guy and we don't have a legacy of death destruction and mayhem. And so on. You know the score. Anyway back to Lili. She moved to NYC to go to school and lives with this girl Emily. Emily has a friend named Rachel who lives out here- ironic huh. Well the four of us started on a little money-making venture which hasn't made us very much money at all but at least it's something, and it's fun and sort of makes me think Lili and I are still tight in our cyber sort of way. Not like we would ever cyber or anything, not that. But joint ventures are cool. Rachel's alright too. I don't actually have to hang out with her to be in business together but sometimes we hang out anyway, esp. when guys order pictures, we take them of each other. OK now DO NOT tell my dad about this because he doesn't know yet and I'm sure if it was a friend of his doing it he'd think it was hilarious, but I'm his daughter and I know he wouldn't want to visualize the idea of what I'm doing. Well enough about that. I am tired and I think I'm going to go watch one of those Death shows with my dad now. Why not. I'll be back soon, World.
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from the freewayblogger: what's your e-mail address? I'd like to thank you properly for the link.
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