 | ...in which the most top-secret, mortifying events are chronicled for the benefit of the world. |
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Thursday, July 15, 2004 ( 5:54 PM ) Dear World, Still moving from present to past, here's what's going on with me now: I still don't have a real job but it doesn't really matter since I'm living w/my dad and he doesn't make me pay rent. I help pay for food when I have money and I do most of the cleaning (which is NOT an easy feat some of the time.) I'm teaching myself to play the guitar because before, I only played tambourine and I was dependent on having another band member (i.e. Amy) to play the guitar. Well the band's defunct but that makes this as good a time as any to start learning. Ok well what else- my last post before disappearing was about trying to trick my friends into thinking I'd stowed away in their suitcase, but that didn't really work. I had a completely sucky summer except for falling in love with a girl... news at 11. Or whenever. But she moved back to NYC and I moved back here and we sort of broke up so that sucked. The other sucky thing is I am completely jealous that the boy I lost my virginity to back in Madison is now the producer of "The O'Franken Factor" and I tried to hook up with him when I was there but he was so busy holding big convention things with Al Franken (yes, Al actually came home with Ben for the weekend) that he wouldn't even see me, and then he left and went back to Boston to pack up and then he moved to NYC to do the show and for all I know, he's sleeping with Lili (MY girl.) Well I have no reason to believe they even know each other but I wouldn't put it past either of them. Something much bigger and suckier happened last summer but I don't feel like writing about it yet. It happened (or started, the suckiness of it anyway) right after my last cheerful post. Since then I have had very few cheerful moments. I even lost most of my political fervor! It has started to come back though. I finally got to see Fahrenheit 911 (It was sold out for weeks at every theater I tried to go to) and how could I not be fervored-up after that? It's a good thing Michael Moore is so funny and made some parts of it really funny or I would have been crying through the whole thing instead of just the part where the woman lost her son in the war and realized finally that the whole thing was a lie and she'd been naively getting her kids to join the military all this time, just believing it was the right thing because she never had any real reason to know otherwise. It sucks that it takes the death of someone's son to get them to see how much they are being lied to, but at least that happened. It would have been worse if she'd believed he died defending his country. Well maybe not for her, but for the movie and for the rest of everyone. Seeing that she changed her views is what gave me a bit of hope, that maybe other people will change their views too. Still it was heartbreaking watching her grief because I had my own grief over the summer (I'll tell you later) and seeing it happening to someone else brought all that back which is why it made me cry. I wonder if that means I could be an actress because I realize I have the ability to take feelings about my own experiences and relate them to someone else's experiences. Maybe I should go into showbiz. Well I was, I mean I was trying to with the band and everything but like I said thanks to Nellie McKay I am giving that up for the time being. Anyway I don't want to do anything right now except get back into sharing all my mortifying experiences with you, dear World, and learn my guitar (Dad's given me infinite use of his old one that he's had since forever, but I'm saving up to get a cheap fender strat copy or something) and I have a little side-business which I can't talk about here because too many people I know might read this even though I don't actually tell anyone I know about this website, because it is private. Still, a girl can never take too many precautions.
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( 12:05 AM ) Dear World, It has been over a year since I've said anything to you. I have an explanation but it's too long for one sitting, but I am going to tell you the whole story. It's just going to take a few installments. I will start from the end (here) and hopefully eventually I'll finally get back to where I left off. There is some pretty sucky stuff in the middle there (not too far after where I left off) and I've been putting off writing about it. But I keep wanting to write and having not filled you in keeps me from doing it so finally I realized I just had to jump back in and not worry about it. So there you have it. Here I am. First... Um, well... no more band. I mean someday I'll pick it up again but for now, Wicca-A-Go-Go is on hiatus. Due to ego deflatus. You know, we only ever even recorded one song? All the other ones we were doing were covers that we never got the rights to so we didn't record them. All I've got is "The SUV Song." I'll put an MP3 up here as soon as I figure out how to do that. Some people have asked to hear what the band is like. Well the name of the band is still mine and I'm keeping it so you can't have it, don't even think about stealing it! But it's inactive. I discovered this girl named Nellie McKay who did everything I ever dreamed of doing and more, and better, and since she's done it I don't see much point in my continuing on in that vein. I'll never be as good as her, my band (no matter who is in it with me) will never be as good. And anyway I want to devote all my time to getting that asshole W. out of office as thoroughly as possible. I know it seems like a no-brainer at this point but he stole one election, he could steal another. I wouldn't put it past him. So I remain on the alert and I hope you do too. I'm still living in the 'hood with my dad and my rats. Life's ok. more later.
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