...in which the most top-secret, mortifying events are chronicled for the benefit of the world.


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 Wednesday, January 08, 2003
( 6:24 PM )
Dear World, I did something really horrible. Well, responsible-horrible, but horrible anyway. I got so worried about Amy that I called her parents and her mother flew out from the midwest and brought her home. That cost them a lot of money. Amy was pissed, she was screaming and crying, but then the crying took over and she got tired and just went along with it. I don't know what's going to happen with her rent and all that, I called her job and told them she had a family emergency (well, she is part of her family, isn't she?) and had to go home for a while. She is going to hate me. But I was scared not that she was going to kill herself but that she was going to kill me, when I kicked her out of the band. Or that she would kill the Boy. Or that she would run out into the middle of the street in her underwear (a la Id'iot Jones' Diary) and then get creamed by an SUV. Those things are everywhere and they will get you. Hey did you hear that columnist Arianna Huffington is doing a big anti-SUV ad campaign? It's modeled after the fucked-up straight out LIES that the gov't paid TV stations to air, saying that if you did drugs you were supporting terrorism. Fucking assholes. I hate that the government can straight-out like, make shit up, and pay to have it on TV. Anyway, the anti-SUV one is good but I hate to inform you that it is not an original idea. Some group did an anti-Gap one too. That one was like "I support slave labor." "I helped build sweatshops." I don't know where that is actually but that guy Jon who helped with my site made it. The Flash piece part of it. Maybe he can post on my boards where the link is. Anyway, now I wonder how many people are going to do the same thing and how many of them will think it's an original idea. Speaking of which, my newest bumper sticker idea is "My SUV started WWIII" and I'm thinking of really doing it this time. If people don't see the connection, they suck.

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