...in which the most top-secret, mortifying events are chronicled for the benefit of the world.


archives:

 Sunday, December 22, 2002
( 6:02 PM )
Dear World, I have good news and I have bad news. Ok, I'll tell you the good news first! The good news is that my band, Wicca A Go-Go, which hardly even exists yet, has its first gig!!! Yes that's right, you heard me correctly. I do not lie! We got a gig at Kimo's in SF on January 5th! That's a sucky sunday night but I guess that's how it is with first gigs, if Laura's band's first gig is any indication. So I don't feel so bad about that. What I am kind of in a panic about though is that my band really isn't ready! I have been sweating night and day to make up songs and Amy has been practicing with me, so right now it's just me on tambourine and singing, and her doing guitar and backup vocals. I am so sad that I haven't had time yet to train Willow and Tara on how to play the tambourine. But maybe by the time the band is famous I'll have the rats trained. They will be famous rats! I am hoping that they will become so famous that somebody will want to make a movie about them (probably Disney, but the Disney conglomerate is evil so I would refuse and maybe sell the rights to Pixar) and I'd sell the rights for so much money that I wouldn't have to work for the rest of my life if I could be self-disciplined enough to live on the cheap. There is already someone interested in making a documentary about my band (but there wouldn't be any money in that. Not that I care- that one would be art! And it would give me a good reputation which can always come in handy. Oh, so how I got this gig is I met this guy on Nerve who has a gig that night at Kimo's, and we were talking about music and he came over and hung out with me and Amy and then said we could open for him! We're going to be on the flyers and everything! I am so excited but I am really having to work hard to get ready and I am full of adrenaline. Ok so the bad news is that I didn't make it to Laura's gig. I felt really bad about it especially after promising to make out in front of the stage with Amy! Apparently her gig went really well anyway, even without my presence. I don't quite understand how that is possible except for maybe because I tried so hard to get there, my pro-gig energy got there even though I didn't. What happened is that it was raining. Amy had said she wouldn't drive me if there was a storm, but I manipulated her into going against her better judgement and making the trip with me. It was all the way down in San Jose! (California, not Costa Rica.) We had to pull off the freeway halfway down because we were out of gas. And so that was the first time she had to use her breaks and at the stoplight she totally rear-ended an SUV. True to form, it was driven by a complete asshole who got out and started yelling at us even though his monstrosity wasn't even scratched and Amy's hood was all dented! He said he was going to have whilplash. The thing is that Amy didn't have any insurance because, well I shouldn't really be saying this publicly but she had to choose between paying bills and buying fun drugs and she chose the latter. So what were we to do? We were fucked! So we took off. It was pouring rain so I'm sure the guy couldn't see the license plates and since we came from Oakland he won't have any luck if he tries to describe us to the authorities. Fuck him anyway! What a creep. That's the kind of fucked up person that's driving this country to the brink of disaster, did you know that? Anyway we sailed through the green light and managed to make it back onto the freeway going the other way without having to brake. It was raining a little less hard when we got back so it was ok but Amy was super-pissed off at me and I had to do her special favors to make it up to her. Now she's not mad at me any more and especially she's not allowed to be mad because we have a gig! Hurray for gigs!

Comments: Post a Comment