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Tuesday, November 08, 2005 ( 6:56 PM ) Dear World, My # 1 fan Jurgi Jorhansen (probably not his real name) says: "Your ignorance is fucking unbearable. You ought to be ashamed of how incredibly foolish you are. People like you make me sick." As left in a comment on this site on a very old post. The reason I am not sure he used his real name is that his profile says he's a harvester of hatred from the gates of hell, and his answer to everything is "go fuck yourself." Which to me reads like self-hatred more than anything else. I have noticed a pattern among people who send hate mail to me or my contemporaries or call in to radio shows they find too "liberal." These spewers of venom always use the phrase "people like you" without explaining what the hell they are talking about. Maybe they think it's obvious, but I don't. People like me how? Hot, charming, brilliant? Rocker grrrls? Literate celebrities? What? Anyway, we at NPFP have been receiving more venemous spews than usual in the past month, calling us all sorts of horrible things (such as "you people" and "you liberals"). You have to wonder why people bother with the spewing! They're only making themselves look ridiculous. I myself am not going to waste my time going around insulting people I don't agree with. If I must pick a fight, I'll do it over the issues, thank you very much!!! But I have yet to receive a complaint or insult from anyone who could back up an argument, or make an argument, or explain themselves in any way. Remember way back before the start of the war when I got in an argument with a veteran in a bar, and I didn't remember that I had a big peace sign stamped in the middle of my forehead? So he kept saying "don't get me wrong, I'm all for peace" and I didn't know why he kept protesting that until much later when I looked in a mirror. Anyway he was a nice guy but he lost the argument. And he was courteous about it and shook my hand. He said personally he wasn't willing to give up certain luxuries (specifically: getting in his BMW every day and driving to Jamba Juice) and he thought it was well worth going to war against innocent people (he even admitted he knew they were innocent) to make sure we could continue our lifestyle. Anyway I'm flattered that someone is so riled up that they have bothered to spew their venom my way but I must regretfully inform them that I will not return the favor. If I spewed like that, I think it would make me feel dirty.
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Sunday, October 30, 2005 ( 12:38 PM ) Dear World, This is the kind of thing I am talking about!!!!!!! It is so far beyond tragic I don't know what to say. It's like, here's the bad news, but there's no way to fix it, or at least we know that our tax money isn't going to go to looking into ways to fix this kind of thing. But research about that would be a much better way to spend our military budget than spending it on militarism for militarism's sake and war for the war profiteers' sake. Just my opinion. I'm going to go shoot myself now.
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( 11:08 AM ) Dear World, Fantastic news!!! The Bush Crime Family is Going Down. Yeeeeee-haw!!! Ok, now that I'm done gloating, I must say that it's a little scary thinking about what will happen after. I mean that what if we elect enough Democrats in '06 to get a little balance back in our checks, but the Dems are as lame as ever and no one is willing to address the really most serious issues and we just keep on being majorly lame. I mean there are a lot of little things the Democrats might do which will make a difference overall, but until we change some really big things I don't think we're going to have any hope of saving our planet from assured doom! I will explain what I mean. First of all, corporations. They are ruling our world so much that we hardly even think about it anymore. How many times have I heard that such-and-such a good thing can't happen because "it might interfere with corporate profits"???? and I have read things about claims that open space and parks and wetlands interfere with potential corporate profits and therefore must be eliminated. Pretty soon, if we can make it that long without killing the planet (i.e. OUR FUCKING LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) we'll have corporations just mowing down entire communties and banning things such as bartering and used clothing or book stores and giving things away for free, because those things interfere with potential corporate profits. Ok so really above all else corporations need to be fucking reigned in before they have any more of this reign of terror. Remove their personhood!!! I saw this movie called The Corporation based on the book The Corporation which everyone should read because it's very scary and MUCH MORE revealing than even I expected it to be!!! OK enough about that. Beyond that I think we need to really just plain look at reality and face the fact that we are killing our planet and not just a hundred years from now, but right now. Right this very minute now. We need to STOP IT. I think God needs to talk to someone in a bush or on a hill and issue a divine proclamation that from here on out, we cannot do anything that harms the planet in any way. And that we have an obligation to make HEALING our planet our number one priority in all things. And then healing the spirit. Which means investing not only in green things and health care and infrastructure and blah blah blah, but in ART and MUSIC and LITERATURE for everyone. and free time and recreation and tight-knit communities. I hate living here in this time and knowing what we're doing and feeling so fucking helpless. What really boggles my brain is that I was just a kid when I learned about ecosystems, and I went to not so great a public school when I first was learning that stuff. So everyone should know it. Everything in nature is linked and needs everything else. And we can't kill all the green things and still have oxygen to breathe. For example. It is horrible that we are not only razing the planet but literally killing our oceans. And of course melting the ice caps etc. Maybe some idiots can go on thinking that humans have nothing to do with Global Warming, but there's no way getting around the fact that we are the only things polluting and killing the oceans. Not only are the oceans totally poisoned, but there are huge sections of them floating around that are literally DEAD. Meaning there's no oxygen in the water and so any fish or plant that goes into those places will die. So nothing lives. Oh I am so mad and sad about it all It's insane. So this is why I must qualify my elation over the Bush Crime Family Going Down!!! I want them to go down and I want Democrats to take over but I don't know if it's going to be enough to save us and our fellow creatures. Kurt Vonnegut (my hero!!!) believes that the planet's immune system is trying to get rid of the plague called the human race, and I think that makes sense. He says the only responsible thing for us to do is stop reproducing. I would add to that, that if we MUST reproduce we should at least all inter-breed so we can start eliminating racism. Bad enough killing our entire planet without being racist bigots on top of it. Anyway I think we need an absolutely enormous shift in consciousness and although I see small signs of that happening here and there we're nowhere close to the hundredth monkey of it. So I think even if we start acting like sane people again (were we ever sane, though? Not sure) it might not be enough. Which makes me very very sad. Dad says all we can do is keep "fighting the good fight." I wonder if that has some universal meaning or if it means something different to everyone? Because that could lead to us all just fighting each other. Anyway I think he means we all just do what we can in our own little ways and maybe that will be enough and maybe it won't, but since it's all we can do, there's no sense freaking out about everything we're impotent about. I can sort of see the logic in that, but at the same time where's the motivation to do anything if it seems like really it's not going to make a difference because it's not enough and nothing is enough? Has there been a time in history yet when things really shifted hugely and enormously in terms of consciousness? In a good way? It seems to me that we humans think we're awfully great but actually we are the one weak link in this amazing thing we call life. We're the one part that doesn't fit in with everything else and doesn't have a way of keeping in balance with itself or the rest of Network Earth. There's more I have to say about Network Earth but this is turning into a really long rant and actually I meant to talk about something else entirely here so I'm not going to go on with my thoughts for now. What I was originally going to talk about was that I saw the guy I lost my virginity to in high school, in a video clip on Amazon.com. I'm not going to tell you which one he is because that might interfere with his privacy. If you know enough about me and where I was living at the time of said virginity loss, you can probably figure it out. He looks a bit different. I haven't seen him in, like, years. We were not actually dating. As far as I know now, he has a Really Serious Girlfriend. But I have heard things and I have a sneaking suspicion that he's planning to become President someday (if our planet can survive that long with us on it!!!!!!) and I want to make sure he remembers who I am because I would like to become the Official White House Go-Go Dancer. It's my #1 Best Ever Totally Way Out Of This World Dream Job!!!!
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Friday, September 02, 2005 ( 3:52 PM ) Dear World, Or, more specifically, dear 3l1t3 h@x0r, you are so fucking k00l it blows little old me away. Now that you have proven yourself please fuck off and go annoy someone else. Love, T@lul@
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Friday, August 12, 2005 ( 10:43 PM ) Dear World, Matt Taibbi is my GOD. I love him. I must find him and marry him! I want to have his anarchist children. Just finished his book "Spanking the Donkey: Dispatches From The Dumb Season" illustrated by Minor God David Rees of "Get Your War On" genius fame. Matt Taibbi is something I cannot find the words to describe. I must, therefore, stalk him, corner him, and show him my devotion the best way I know how: with my go-go boots and tambourine, and of course ME. Me all over him. Do not be scared, Matt Taibbi, for I come in peace. I will drop acid with you and wear animal costumes with you and I will pretend to be a vapid right-wing talking head for your investigative reporting schemes any time you want, any place. I ask nothing in return but that you keep on doing whatever it is you do that makes your brain work the way it does. I love you. You are God. Even if there is no God. If there was one... well, I'll stop now. Dear World, please read: Four Amendments & a Funeral: A Month Inside the House of Horrors That is Congress and then go get his book. It is not only brilliant but very, very, very funny.
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Sunday, June 05, 2005 ( 3:35 PM ) Dear World, It's totally weird that i don't have any reason anymore to visit Madison, WI. Now that my mom's dead and my only crush from that area (Lili) is gone, what's left? Nothing but a very happenin' liberal college town & The Onion, neither of whom will remember me. Someday maybe I'll have an Important Friend to impress & I can take them there & show them around but until then, no more Madison for me. So this summer I'm making a pilgrimage to New York City, the Lower East Side specifically, to stalk Lili. I haven't told her I'm coming. I'm going to stay with someone else (I haven't decided who yet but there are a few boys there who I know will be glad to "have" me) and then just stalk her. It's going to be funny! I'll write about my stalking adventures here. All this is to distract me from the end of the world... which is immenent. This will probably be my last hurrah. A lot of people are probably having their last hurrahs right now but I bet most of them don't know it. I am pretty freaked about the fact that we're just carrying on like nothing's going to change when we should be putting all our energies and focus towards figuring out how to live w/out flying and w/out the trucking industry and w/out commuting and how to have community gardens where we can get the bulk of our food and stuff like that. If we wait till the last minute it will be a whole lot worse because then there won't be any fuel left to even make electricity and then how will we power the internet or radio and tv stations? We could all live with a lot less TV, but it would be nice to have it for a while when everything falls apart just to transmit information so people can learn about what's happening in parts of the country where they can no longer visit on account of no fuel. Of course it would be pointless if it's still being controlled by the same media conglomerates who control it today. Well I guess I'm rambling. Really I'm in a bit of a panic because I don't know what to do about the end of you, dear World. When I figure it out I'll get back to you. Now I'm going to start packing for my Great Stalking Adventure!!! Hee Hee. P.S. One great thing about the end of the world or at least the Rapid Decline of American Civilization is that it won't matter anymore who's famous and there will be lots of people on the local level willing to make music with the Less Than Gifted, which includes me. So break out the home-brew & roll out the astroturf carpet! Wicca A Go-Go will be making a comeback.
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So, you have it down... I believe... this isn't a cheesey come on from a stranger... well in some ways it is, but ignore that part. Anyway, what I was getting at, is that's a great picture of you and a frog (that is you right?) what is the frog's name?
Thank you for the kind words, stranger! Sadly the frog, Henry, formerly my Best Friend On Earth, is no longer with us on this earthly plane. Well technically his body is, I guess. It's probably been recycled into crabgrass by now. You can read all about his untimely demise somewhere way way back in the archives, I forget exactly when it all happened or I'd tell you.
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These nice comments from my adoring fans remind me once again that I really should start checking my logs (or better yet install some kind of log-checking program to give me a visual) to see who on earth comes to visit me here, and why. Saturday, April 16, 2005 ( 11:04 PM ) Dear World, Oh, my God, I am so lame. The comments people have left here have at once got my measly little brain spinning again as well as left me feeling Very Guilty about how much I have ignored you, my World, as of late. I haven't been here since November? I am so sorry!!!! I honestly didn't realize how much time had gone by. I have been working. I hate it! I'm quitting. I never finished my novel on time and this stupid job thing is keeping me from working on it. I will tell you about the stupid job thing after I quit and after I'm fully recovered. In the meantime, well I hadn't thought about Salinger in a long time but "Six Degrees of Separation" was on TV the other night and I watched it with my dad. Don't shoot me but I'm one of those lame-ass retarded freaks who never read Catcher In The Rye. It was one of my dad's very favorite books & maybe I just assumed it would be boring. Anyway I'm reading it now and it's MUCH MUCH MUCH more interesting than the diary I found. I still feel bad for that Mormon guy. Whenever I see the MMs (Mormon Missionaries) around the 'hood I wonder if one of them is the guy who dropped the diary. Oh wait, why didn't this occur to me before? I am such a dumb-ass. (And you are correct, I've never talked about myself in such a derogatory manner before but it's the fucking JOB, man. Working for the Man has reduced me to this.) I bet the guy dropped his diary in the puddle on purpose. I bet he had looked at some porn that morning and he just couldn't bear to keep writing about it and showing it to his girlfriend. I used that trick once when I got a bad report card, I drowned it in a lake, under a dock. It's probably still there. You won't be able to read it though, it will be nothing but slush by now. OK and I also feel like a dumbass for not writing to the guy who posted here from the Middle East because I'd really like to have an open dialogue with someone over there. If he's in the military I want to know what the fuck, like what the hell was he thinking when he signed up and isn't he pissed off now and how the fuck do they deal, knowing how badly they were duped, not to mention realizing that if maybe the media and the education system had done their job better he & his friends there might have not wanted to enlist. Maybe he's one of those No Children Left Behind who got recruited when the high schools were forced to turn their rosters over to the military. Oh well... I waited so long he's probably dead by now. OK sorry for my crassness. I'm in a kind of a sucky mood because this crazy crazy fucked up world is spinning madly all around me and everything is crumbling and there seems to be no point in having dreams or goals or anything because we're all going to be in the middle of some fucking religious war before soon anyway, unless we're spared the agony by Mother Earth rising up and taking back what is rightfully hers, smiting all of us down. That will teach us. Or it won't. But it might keep us at least from going and fucking up other planets when we're done fucking up this one. I mean really, what are these lunatics thinking? Jeeeezus.
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They weren't thinking. Thinking is not only out of style -- it's dangerous, somewhere between treason and blasphemy. If we only we stop thinking we'll be happier. That's the message.
Did you know that the "no panties" domain name has expired? I guess we'll all have to buy right-wing panties now. :-)
Fuckety-fuck-fuck. I called our Web-Meistress & harrassed her for not turning on auto-renew. She claims to have had a migraine since mid-April but promises me she's on it. I believe I will have to pester her with reminder calls. Jeez. Well THANK YOU for alerting me. We at NPFP are clearly out of our own loop.
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004 ( 8:35 PM ) Dear World, Wow. Well, it was a guy's diary that I found and I read the whole thing. The good news is that I don't think I have to return it to the spot where I found it, because it was dropped by a mormon missionary who just came to the 'hood to do his rounds. Another wow. The bad news is I feel really sorry for this guy, although I do admire him. I've never read a mormon's diary before. First of all, it was pretty much the same thing day in and day out. He does not lead a very exciting life. And he's very very hard on himself because he occasionally looks at pornography on the web and he has a hard time getting these "thoughts" out of his head. He's trying to limit his recreational internet use to ten minutes a day, as well as do prayer and scripture study and 70 pushups in the morning. He made all these charts to keep track of his progress. He set lofty goals for himself and didn't reach them and then he felt bad about himself. The poor guy! He seemed like a really nice fellow. I wonder if he wouldn't have been happier if he'd just let himself be whoever he is. Or maybe it's by being hard on ourselves that we become really nice people? I'd be like the inverse of that because I don't think I'm hard on myself, in fact I allow myself many liberties, and I don't know if anyone would go out of their way to call me "nice." Not like I'm an asshole or anything though. Well the worst part of the whole journal was that he talked about his wife a lot and how much he loved her and how supportive she was of his efforts to improve himself. But she demanded to read the journal!!! Isn't that the whole point of keeping a journal or diary- that it's just for you? I was horrified that he let her read it. Because she of course read all about his pornography issue and stuff. She was nice about it but I still felt really sorry for the guy. His last entry said that their car was just stolen and he was trying to find all the bright sides of it but having a bit of trouble. He didn't go into the negative sides of having the car be stolen because he said they were probably pretty obvious. Well I have to get back to working on my novel!!! I'm totally way behind but I'm sure I'll finish it in time. I have till next Wednesday, November 30th, to finish it, and it has to be 50,000 words. Also, it has to be wrapped up. I can't just have it be half-done but get the word count. I mean I can, because they don't read it when you upload the manuscript, they just count the words and declare you a "winner" if you got to 50,000. It's totally a reasonable goal for a month, in terms of word count. That part's easy. It's getting the whole story together that's the hard part! I have many, many unfinished chapters in progress and I don't even know how most of them tie together. I know I have the whole revision & editing process to work on that, but it would be nice if my story made some kind of sense in the first draft. Well, given that I am going to finish it no matter what, be looking for it in bookstore windows sometime next year!! I'm sure someone will be interested in publishing it if I really do revise and edit it and turn it into a really great story. It's an exciting thing. My big thing used to be my band, but since it dwindled down to me and Amy and we haven't played in forever, and besides, that was and is just for fun and posterity, not anything we ever thought of making a living doing. Maybe in the movie version of my book Wicca A Go-Go will get to play in one of the scenes, but as much as I love music and I love writing songs and making music, I have to think of it as a hobby and put it second to writing. I don't have a "real job" for those of you who don't remember. I do this and that. I have my secret side business that barely pays for its own overhead. But I think I could make it as a writer and get paid for it at some point. I think I'd like to write subversive books for young adults. Well I'm a young adult but I don't mean people my age. I mean the 13-17 age bracket. I'm still young enough to relate, but I made it through adolescence intact and have many tales to tell. I hope I can be an inspiration to those who are struggling about what is the point of this whole thing, this Life thing. That's all I have to say for now... I have to get back to working on the novel. Oh, guess what though, I am excited because Rachel and I are going to go to NYC for new years again and visit Emily and Lili. It will be a NPFP reunion! Last time we were there, we made some money meeting people in person (I don't want to go into detail about this because some people don't know about it and I'd like to keep it that way) and I can't do that here because I live with my dad! Emily though had no qualms about letting people come up to her apartment in the East Village, so long as she had a guy friend or two around to play bodyguard. So anyway I'm hoping to do a bit of that again and maybe it will be a good time for us to figure out how we can take money online without using PayPal. As you may or may not know, our PayPal account was closed because they claimed that we violated the terms of our agreement. We protested that our website was actually an art piece, but it didn't work.
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Hey there Talua Mcpeach just wanted to say hi and i checked your web page out and thought it was cool. I would gladly buy some of yours but well am in the middle east and you know how that is when your far away from home you don't get mail and stuff like you usually do when home. I am in the service and was just scanning thru the net and came upon your personal page and i like reading what you have to say and what your about. I think your really cool and wouldn't mind hearing a good word from you and i see your into Wicca i am native american myself and still practice alot of my beliefs even thought main stream considers it paganism and such. Well to each his own i guess but i am happy who i am. But again i am presenlty in Iraq for awhile and far away from home to be in fact i am 7000 miles from home and like to hear what you have to say if ever. But it is better to have tried to say or do something then not. But i would love to correspond with you if possible so hope the next time you get onto check your page you see my message. I am definently a fan of yours even though i am so far away. If you would like i would'nt mind getting an email from you it's elkshoulder01@yahoo.com so send a message anytime of the day and like your lifestyle and what your about and wouldn't mind purchasing some of your underwear. So peace out and may the creator always watch over you. Hoka Hey!!!
Just discovered this blog. Amazingly "continuous" considering the time gaps. Went to the "other" site with the intention of buying something, mostly to help out your enterprise. And because it's nice to see something on web that is not run by some porn conglomerate.
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That diary sounds like it could have been written by J.D. Salinger. Rather sad to see how people have tied the notion of religion into such a tortured knot that they can no longer feel joy in their God-given humanity. (And it is people who have done this, although they conveniently claim it's God's will so we aren't tempted to *think* about it.) Anyway, best wishes to you. I hope you continue to write occasionally.
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